The Sailing Club, Inc.

Pirates of the Chesapeake Havre de Grace, MD 8/25 - 8/27/2007

Pirates Aren't Rocket Scientists These fragments of logs were recently discovered in the bilge of a retired charter vessel.  While we are unsure of the truthfulness of the events reported (after all, they were pirates), we thought it important to bring this fascinating record to light. Excerpts from the Log of the Pirate Vessel Wisp: Dreamweaver, the cowards, snuck out of Havre de Grace before Wisp could finish their morning grog. Ship’s surgeon Bob Rainey was kept busy attending to First Mate candidate Bruce Gollob, who’d sliced his finger while attaching the Jolly Roger to a halyard. Bruce drew first blood and we hadn’t left the slip yet! A good omen for pirates! At 11:00, Wisp’s crew finally finished their grog, cleaned the blood off the deck and started the chase after Dreamweaver. Radio contact was sketchy, one or the other radio had problems, so we used cell phones and kept leaving messages for each other. No one had the right phone on and nearby for effective communication.Notes in a bottle would have worked better. Once we were out of the channel, the wind picked up to 10 to 15 knots out of the South-Southwest and we tacked to and fro down the Chesapeake; keeping a watchful eye out for Capt’n Mia (her first checkout as Pirate skipper). We were averaging five knots down to Poules Island – avoiding the US Navy’s gunnery practice in that area. South of Poules Island, we headed west on a beam reach toward Middle River. With the wind on the beam, we made better than six knots. Oh what a fearsome site we made as we sailed up Middle River all decked out in our Pirate finery!  You could see the civilians scatter like the lambs they were. Larry did need some conditioner for his beautiful pirate hair – it kept getting into his mouth and eyes and sticking to his whiskers. As we waited for Dreamweaver, in Hopkins Creek, the discussion on the ten-gun sloop Wisp centered on the possibility of sinking her, then rafting up with her. We saw the flaws in this plan almost at once (hence the title of this article). The new plan was to ambush Wisp with a volley of the best Pirate phrases and to totally cower them – “Hey you bilge sucking rats – prepare to kiss the gunner’s daughter” [A punishment: to be bent over one of the ships guns and flogged]. It worked so well they did not even notice the four gun ports on each side of our sloop. We were rafted up with our prize (Wisp) and splitting up the booty of the captured crew, when we were all treated to an impressive thunderstorm. This started around 7:00, followed by heavy rain. The dodger and bimini on Wisp provided plenty of shelter while our captives on Dreamweaver had to be confined below. Capt’n Krak (Steve) and Bruce stayed below to prepare the appetizers. Never volunteer to cook hot food in August on the Chesapeake! Sunday morning brought overcast and a still as death breeze for our trip to Georgetown for a little looting and pillaging. Out with the sweeps (oars to you landlubbers) and the iron jenny. That night, Capt’n Krak figured we needed a little more training so we watched Pirates of the Caribbean on our flat screen TV.  Don’t all pirate ships have them? Excerpts from the Log of the Pirate Vessel Dreamweaver: Those bloody pirates aboard Wisp thought they had the upper hand as we approached them in Hopkins Creek, but we were a laughin’ at their capering and jigs – not a man of ‘em were mannin’ the guns! Still it seemed while we were doing what we came for – sailing up Middle River under full canvas – they’d been playin’ dress-up, for they were looking fine indeed. Once the raft was secure, members of both crews got in a promised swim in the creek’s mild waters before the evening lightning show started.  Undaunted by the wet on our decks, we served out our rations below and suffered the heat of the oven for the sake of crab meat pizza and other delights. On Sunday the pull up the Sassafras River didn’t dampen our spirits and we tied up in fair Georgetown ready to riot. The marina pool was our first target and a merry band we made there.  Later we took our frivolity to The Granary restaurant for a few more rounds and some excellent victuals.  Later a few of our number joined Wisp’s training session before turning in for a well-earned rest. Monday morning several teams set out in search of treasure: Cap’n Shakey and Cap’n Sparkey were both known to have left hidden caches in the area. Before breakfast Wisp’s men searched hard for Cap’n Sparky’s loot to no avail, while the duo of Jim Hills and Tom Buckley from Dreamweaver returned victorious with Cap’n Shakey’s hoard, disappointing their crewmates Eleanor Popolizio and Candy Bell who were just about to set out. With renewed energy, Cap’n Krak left Wisp once more and found Cap’n Sparkey’s cache.  The victorious pirates were rewarded with trinkets from the fleet treasure trove and were held in high regard by all. But alas, it was finally time to return to home port. Cap’n-elect Mia started a lively discussion of man overboard procedures, and when Dreamweaver reached the mouth of the Sassafras River, started a live drill by tossing a cushion overboard. The crew reacted with alacrity, helmsman Jim barking orders as he tacked around and had the sails trimmed on a course back toward our lost “man.” Just then a merchantman (crab boat) crewed by a rough bunch came motoring up the river. Seeing our situation and apparently not realizing the pirate nature of our vessel, they went straight for our lost “man.” Barely slowing, they scooped him up with a boat hook and their helmsman spun their vessel around. In a moment they were along side tossing our cushion on our deck at our feet before zooming away on their original course. We shouted a bemused thanks and resumed our own original course.  Cap’n Mia cautioned the crew not to count on the presence of friendly crab men every time they lost a man overboard. Here the fragments end. We can only hope that these erstwhile pirate crews found their way safely home to Havre de Grace. Perhaps next season we’ll find evidence that they went to sea again.